13 09 2010

Today, I decided to take an online forum break. I really enjoy reading and posting, but I was getting bogged down by folks who obviously lack empathy (you know the type–they think poor people enjoy poverty and crime), so I closed the window and surprisingly, haven’t logged back in since.  That is unprecedented.

It’s also disheartening.  What’s left?  Well, we could have gone to playgroup this morning, but KB woke up on the wrong side of the bed and MeiMei hasn’t had a decent morning nap in 10 days.  So we skipped.  Over the summer, we would have had playgroup again on Thursday…not anymore. Too many kids are in preschool in the mornings, so it’s alternating mornings and afternoons.  Down to only twice a month.  Afternoon would work, well, actually it just wouldn’t work.  Everyone, including me, is napping at that time.  We have music class tomorrow morning, but KB has been bad the past couple of times.  I hope it works out–we all need some interaction around here since preschool is just not something we can afford right now.

It doesn’t help that I still really don’t know anyone to hang out with here in KC.  I take full blame.  I used to invite people over for fun parties, and now, I’m afraid to even consider hosting a social outing that I’ve conceived.  This is like middle school all over again when my mother asked what was wrong with me for not having any friends over.   I’ve got a book club to go to on Wednesday–at least there’s that, but I have to take the next step and actually work on some friendships or else I might as well resign myself to perpetual anonymity.  It’s a lot of work to be social, and I don’t deserve to complain about it if I’m being lazy.  So I’ll shut up about that.

I do have, though, a legitimate concern about what’s going to happen once baby boy arrives.  How am I going to get out of the house with three small children?  Sure, women do it all the time, right?  The problem is that I don’t have anyone in real life who can relate.   I have images of becoming a super fatty blob stuck at home all day. Of becoming even more socially isolated and awkward.  Hopefully we can start KB at preschool some time in 2011…maybe that’ll help. In the meantime, I need to brainstorm and figure out what’s going to work for me.

Edited to add:  I’m sure all these warm fuzzies are further magnified by my sugar withdrawal. I’d gotten so used to having dessert after lunch and dinner that forgoing that sugar rush has been kind of hard.  Owell, got on the scale and it appears to have gone down a bit! (And before anyone comments on how a preggo shouldn’t lose weight, she also shouldn’t gain so much in 1 month that the doc gets worried.  I’m still under target, which is good, but i’d like to keep it that way since I started off pretty fluffy.)




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